Not too long ago I belonged to a group coaching situation with a “keto coach”. I signed up after a friend of mine had used his system to lose some weight and she looked great. I had played around with Keto before but I always felt like there was something off about it. It seemed pretty unhealthy. I had read lots about how it was healthy and had health benefits but that information didn’t jive with other learning I had done about how our body needs carbs, and veggies and fruit were healthy foods while cheese and bacon were not. This gentleman’s Keto teachings made much more sense to me. On his plan there were veggies and a little fruit and lean protein. Anyway… that actually isn’t what this post is about.
This is about a mantra that so many “motivational” coach type people use that just doesn’t sit well with me. It felt like something was being thrown in my face each time he threw one of these lines out there. Mantras like “If you want something bad enough you’ll find a way. If you don’t you’ll find an excuse” or “excuses are for people who don’t want it bad enough”. Ugh. No. Just no. I want this so bad. I cannot even put into words how badly I have wanted this for years and years and years.
Credit for the excuses goes to the comfort zone (here’s another post about the comfort zone). The comfort zone (inner space, if you will) is just like outer space. It’s beautiful but nothing can grow there. It’s like having an evil little invisible alien (remember the Great Gazoo?) on your shoulder whispering in your ear “yes, but….”. Seriously, this is a tiny little narcissistic, gas-lighting freakzoid that actually wants to keep you stagnant, and the more you listen to that little A(lien)-hole, the more times it has succeeded at holding you back, the stronger it gets. The more often you flick that little alien off into space the stronger YOU get. But it has nothing to do with how badly you want it. It has everything to do with learning strategies to outsmart that little shoulder sitting Jovian and shut it the hell up! That little green weirdo will never leave your shoulder entirely but it will learn its place eventually.
I have realised that mine has become so powerful it often has me acting before I have time to notice that it has tricked me into believing something that couldn’t possibly be true. So far I have identified some lies my alien tells me:
A:”Be perfect or don’t bother”. “You slipped up? Well now you’ve blown it for good. Might as well give up you can’t do this”.
A: “It’s too _______ (hard, expensive, time-consuming…..etc)
A: “look at that person. They can eat whatever they want and be skinny, and they have a cleaner house then yours, and nicer clothes, and really overall they are just better then you”
Ugh. Ugh. Ugh.
Now if I heard someone say that to a friend I would we all up and over them! None of these statements are even close to true – yet when my alien whispers them to me – I believe it! How much sense does that make?
This is the place I am at now. I am learning strategies to outsmart my little a-hole. Its hard. I think I am going to write about those strategies in a separate ever evolving post that I will update as I learn new things or have insights about things I have already learned.
Please leave a comment about strategies you use to keep that extraterrestrial at bay, we can all learn from one another.