Questions…. answers?

Some heavy introspection is required when working on a total life glow up. I have been contemplating the question I asked in my last blog post, What would you do if you felt you were enough?
It’s not an easy question to answer. When you feel like you have never felt like you were enough, you don’t spend much time allowing yourself to think about what you would do if you were enough! So I am going to use this post to brainstorm and explore the answers to this (and a few other) question(s) that will (hopefully) give me some clarity on who I want to be and what my purpose is.

Disclaimer: This post is spontaneous – typing as I think. No planning, no outline before starting – just free flow of thoughts.

What would I do if I felt I was enough?
Well, right off the bat I think I would confront my husband about those Facebook messages. But before that I think I would have expected more/demanded more from our relationship. If I felt like I was enough I think our relationship would look a lot different. Maybe I would nag more (lol), but I definitely be more assertive. I don’t think he would talk to me the way he does sometimes. Also, my daughter wouldn’t treat me/speak to me the way she sometimes does. I think she has learned that its ok, because her dad talks to me that way sometimes – like I am a complete nuisance.

I think if I felt I was enough I would have more energy to get things done. I think I would purge and get my house in tip top shape.

There are probably a lot more things…..I will continue to think about it. I will update this post as I think of things.

If you had all the money in the world, how would you spend your time?

Oh, now this one is more fun to think about! LOL!
I would take singing lessons!
I would open my own business…. but I am not sure what: A boutique bookstore with coffee/bakery counter (someone else would have to bake!) or a paint your own pottery studio or a boutique toy store/candy store/kids clothing & decor store…. although Covid made this entire prospect a little scarier.
I would travel.
I would HIRE someone to finish our house!
I would buy a little cottage on a lake.
I would hire a life coach and an image consultant and a personal trainer.
I would hire a housekeeper and cook! Lol!
I would hire a life coach and an image consultant and a personal trainer.
Some of these things are in direct opposition to each other – opening a business and travelling for example. But its fun to dream!
I would hire a life coach and an image consultant and a personal trainer.

What would your perfect day look like? Describe every detail.
I would wake up in a perfectly clean and organized home, on my own schedule. No alarm clock, noisey husband, or demanding pets! The sun would be shining in but softly filtered. I would feel refreshed, relaxed and content knowing I had the entire day. The morning would be my own. I would make a coffee and sit at my perfectly organized desk – my own space. I would write in my journal (or blog), sip my coffee (since we are dreaming here… my coffee would never get cold and need to me microwaved lol), and reflect on my day.

Then I would spend the rest of the day with my family. Either hanging out in the yard by the pool (note: in real life, we don’t have a pool….) or on a little road trip, just together, laughing and having fun; seeing new things, learning new things. Relaxed and happy, going with the flow.

In the evening, we would arrive back to our cozy home. My daughter would have a friend over or head to her own space after a healthy delicious family dinner, which we would all work together to clean up after. Then my husband and I would retire to the family room, to talk, make future plans, and connect. We would snuggle up and watch a movie or a t.v. show before retiring for the night.

No eggshells to walk on, no pressures from the outside world for the day, lots of communication. Just our own little family cocoon, fresh air, nature and sunshine.

What activities set your soul on fire?
Well, I am not sure. I think I will have to try new things to find out! I like to write, I like to be “in the trees”.
My soul felt on fire when we looked at the treed lot, but we didn’t buy that one.

Wow – lightbulb moment…..honestly, I have never really liked the lot we ended up buying – but I went along with it because its what Karl wanted. I regret that. As a result, I spend very little time outside. Clearly, I need to make some changes in our yard so I can enjoy it more.

Ok, I am going wrap this up here for today. I definitely have some food for thought today.

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